The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Sounds good to me,,,,will you take a cheque

 

Hmmmmm :33:

 

Cash only :28:

 

I have ID

 

Well, that seems to be all in order :33:

 

We;ll have to conclude business in the morning as I need my beauty sleep

 

G'night furball

 

The Phun Annals

Episode 1 : Jack, Yay, Insom, Fur.

On July 24th I (Jack Tripper) and Yaybooies were married.....she wore a gown made of bubblewrap which we then popped after the wedding. Retuning home to our dumpster we spent the night among the garbage piles of the streets and the sunrise saw us standing by the seashore with a banana peel in hand.
We were happy for the first few weeks but then a malicious sandal-wax salesmen (Insomniac) came and seduces her.....I feeling abandoned at the time sought comfort in the warm fur of a goatherd and returned to my ex Sally the rake.
The trist between them didn't last long and they soon drifted apart...I on the other hand felt captivated by this sandal-wax salesmen......and though I did not own any sandals I soon started spending more and more time with him. His blank serial killer face.....his homicidal tendencies and sexual deviances trilled me in a manor I had never felt before.
Yay and I grew distant, I now had a few friend and a goat herd to satisfy my sexual desires and she found solace by inserting a dildo named Bruce up her vagina as often as she could.
This period as the last was also short and Yay and I soon reconciled, proving the absolute "wrongness" of would-be therapist, Uncle Perv (J3scribe). During the time we had hours and hours of sex in our beloved dumpster while an array of cats, raccoons and hobos watched....then we'd relax on the soft food wastes and play with her cats.
Then along came a hairy Australian(Furballs). I hated the fucker the moment he steed into the picture. He, like the sandal-wax salesmen earlier tried to steal my dear Yay from me....but his week 1970's jokes didn't take him far. He was hairy though.... extremely hair....and this seemed to spark some sort of attracting in Yay. I soon became his arch-enemy going under the moniker "Smoothballs" and battled him endlessly to no conclusion.
He thrilled my love with tales of his distant land, a strange place ruled by kangaroos and populated with psychopathic serial killers who lived despite the large number of natural predators out to kill them.
But it was later discovered that this man had a girlfriend already, One who owned a Clitoris.....so that put him temporarily out of the picture for taking my lady love away from me.

Episode 2 : MileHigh

Meanwhile Miles, a fellow Phunner who we had imagined to be laying dead high up in the mountains with a large pack of yokels harvesting his organs returned to us......and brought back the mambo.
Apparently he was not dead, but just had to hide from the numerous transsexuals that were after him, but he was safe for now and back with us, and it was great to just sit down and have a hummingbird sandwich with him after so long.
It was only later that I discovered that Miles ate commercially bought hummingbirds rather than free range.....this was unexpectable.....and I spent many a conversations trying to convince him into catching and cooking his own hummingbirds and destroying those evil mass-production industries. But as the transsexual once again closed in on him.....or so he told me...because I never seemed to notice them.....but he assured me that they were there....and as they closed in our attention was forced to away from food and to basic survival in these confused-gender wars.


Episode 3 : Chuck

Meanwhile Chuck (Haverchuck) a fellow Phunner and friend who had been with us through thick and thin went missing after the Great Phun Absence. Many attempts wee made to contact him during and after the Absence but none were met with any response from the Phunner. Theories started popping up about his whereabouts...some said that without Phun he had gone mad and hung himself, others that he had actually got "a life". Miles of course insisted that he was kidnapped by the transsexuals. There were also mentions of aliens, goblins and chupacabras.
Nothing yet is known about Chuck's disappearance but my own person theory.....from having known him for so long...and slept with him one night after having too many drinks....is that Chuck was killed by his pet Ayeaye, Carl.


Episode 4 : Homocide


During the Great Phun Absence the lost Phunners found themselves wondering through the lonely Phunless abyss (not that one) and eventually found themselves at a far away refugee camp. Here they were welcomed by the local inhabitance and allowed to set up more signs and flares to alert more Phunners. There was food, jokes, porn, videos and chatting and the near lost refugees soon began to feel at home though their heart never stopped yearning for Phun,
It was here that I met Homocide, he was not one of the original members of the camp, nor could I say for sure that he was one of us, for nobody at Phun had such a name. It seemed that nobody knew much about him or really even thought about it....but I could not stump my curiosity....I needed to know who he was.....and so far the only thing I knew for sure was that he was a homo.
But the more time I spent with him, the more my fears and concerns were subdued, he was charming, witty and homosidal and soon the Phunners welcomed him into their group and grew very attached to him.
Now I know what you might be thinking, but he wasn't your average homo...he didn't wear flamboyant cloths, or compliment my hair or even have the slightest desire to own a three inch dog......he was just a great homo, one of the greatest I have ever known. In fact after our return to Phun one Phunner described him as a "delightful homo who made the refugee camp fun"
Like so many other wondered....we never knew what became of this homo....perhaps he just got bored of our company and wondered off, or stayed behind at the refugee camp like a few of other Phun brothers....or maybe he met someone and rushed of to California to marry him. We will never know, but we do miss our beloved homo and wish he is well where ever he is......for I fear to imagine him lost and homeless living on the streets......the poor fellow just wouldn't survive out there....homos were not meant to be hobos.......it's just not in them.


Episode 5 : Yay's Ovaries

It was during October that my wife Yayboobies had the urge to have children, she calmed she had this urge all along, but she had never mentioned this to me before. She said her ovaries were troubling her....constantly yelling at her and taunting her to go out and "get some sperm".
She said that they made her do things that she did not want to do, like wear reviling cloths, flirt to with ever "penis boy" that she encountered and even post pictures of herself online. Most of this was a bit of a surprise to me although it did explain why she turned into a dragon during her periods and that one night I had a weird dream that an ovary was tapping my shoulder; but still...kids? I wasn't sure if I wanted little boobies running around the dumpster as yet. I had so much more I wanted to do with my life....expand my goat heard, clean out my shed, talk to a penguin, visit Holland.
The ovaries though were very aggressive, it wasn't long before I too fell victim to their harsh and desperate desire for sperm....it was like they were crackheads constantly seeking their next high.
I bought Yay a penis puppet hoping that this would trick the ovaries into thinking it was a real penis and focus on it......it worked for a little while, but soon they figured it out and were hunting real penises once again like rabid wolves chasing down a helpless, but slightly aroused deer.


Episode 6 : TBA

 

When is the next installment due?

 

Added.

 

I LOVE THAT!!!!

 

I will have to watch what I say now...Jack's writing a book :33:

 

We were married on July 24th?

 

I'd buy it.
One one for each member of my family.

 

Probably not....but I was too lazy to check.

 

I don't remember signing a release form :28:

 

You were drunk.