Jennifer Love Hewitt - Sunbathing in tube bikini top twitpic - 08/05/12 (LQ)

Take.
Off.
Your.
Top.

 

Dear Jennifer,

I have been cranking my yank to you for fifteen years. The casualties of our affair number in the millions (of sperm), the hundreds (of worn-out VHS tapes from hours spent paused on the same downblouses and bikini scenes), the dozens (of gigabytes dedicated to pictures of you on my hard drive, two (wrists carpal tunnel'd from years of furious masturbation) and one (penis bent beyond recognition). i have coveted the one shitty nipple slip you offered from The Tuxedo, the LQ shots of you wearing a see-through blouse at an AIDS benefit from 2003, and countless bra shots, ass shots, tummy shots, face close-ups, finger-suckings, and panty flashings. Now you have Twitter, where you send us pics like this, to make our peens hard for what may or may not even be worth looking at anymore.

In return, all I ask is this: SHOW YOUR FUCKING TITS ALREADY, YOU FUCKING TALENTLESS WHORE. YOU ARE LITERALLY ONLY FAMOUS BECAUSE YOU WERE HOT, AND NOW JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE HUGE TITS. SHOW YOUR FUCKING TITS ALREADY. DO IT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE, AND IF IT IS TOO LATE SHOW THEM ANYWAY BECAUSE ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING AT THIS POINT. YOU COCKTEASING BITCH.

Love,

Alyson Hannigan's Tampon.

 

fucking nice

 

Nice tits as always

 

That's right mate, and the same goes for Mandy Moore. You have been warned. Get those tits out before we don't care any more. And, not to worry what we all think. Take a cue from Neve Campbell. She has some scarey ass tits, but we love em. Same with Sarah Silverman, don't wait so we gotta see old lady tits.

 

Two people agree, yet nobody thanks my post?

HOW RUDE.

 

Come on titty!!!

 

You're one to talk. You had me right up until you called her a whore, which she clearly isn't.


I don't understand why folks around here can't show a bit more class. You guys toss around terms like bitch and whore and slut and cunt as if these woman have done something to personally offend you. Which they haven't.

Oh and by the way, you guys may want to keep in mind that one of the mods here is a woman. I'll let her speak her own mind on the subject if and/or when she cares to (and believe me, she will speak her mind if it matters).

 

AHT,

at times when a lady is constantly teasing the shit out of me, i like to think that she has ugly, huge nipples. makes me feel a little bit better about not seeing them. perhaps that will help u?

 

I'd do the worst kind of things to her.

The worst.

 

SHOW YOUR TITS, please....

 

Yeah Tampon, you bloody whore

Denial is bliss.

 

I'm sorry, I thought the facetious nature of my post was self-evident. Judging by the rest of the responses, I see no reason to believe it wasn't. But since you bring it up, there are many persistent rumors circulating H-Wood that JLH is a psycho cock-hound. Take that for whatever it's worth, but at least it's something towards suggesting that my (albeit joking) assessment of Ms. Hewitt is correct, as opposed to yours, which rather seems based on nothing more than your personal desire for her to be chaste. I have no intention of dashing this fantasy, and I was just kidding anyway, but saying that she "clearly isn't" a whore is very clearly a statement you are in absolutely no position to make.

And I'm not exactly sure why the sex of a moderator should be of any relevance here. Do women not swear? Do they not make and appreciate dick and pussy jokes? If not, moderating at a website that features not only nude celebrities but also explicit sexual videos seems like an odd choice.

I like you, I like how you post, so I'll say this: Don't talk about women as if they're children. I'm sure this moderator can handle herself, and doesn't need a white knight trying to defend her out of some misplaced sense of chivalry. Were I her, I'd be more insulted at your insinuation that I was too delicate to hear such words as "cunt" or "bitch" than at anything someone said about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

 

I like this post, but some of the comments on Phun are so amazingly crude I sometimes wonder if they actually act like this in real life.

 

J3scribe, your turn.

 

Tube bikini top........ more like a head band!