The Random Thread (My 5985)

Thou wayward dismal-dreaming bag of guts!

 

What were Socrates' last words?

I drank what?

 

Just because Jesus Christ rose from the dead after three days without a rational explanation does not make him a ZOMBIE!!!

 

You think devout Christians would be offended by this gif?

:crucified:

Do you think if the nails were in the right place on the wrists instead of the hands, they'd approve?

 

I love talking about Kennedy, man. I was just down in Dallas, Texas. You know you can go down there and, er, to Dealey Plaza where Kennedy was assassinated. And you can actually go to the sixth floor of the Schoolbook Depository. It’s a museum called… ‘The Assassination Museum’. I think they named that after the assassination. I can’t be too sure of the chronology here but… Anyway they have the window set up to look exactly like it did on that day. And it’s really accurate, you know, cos Oswald’s not in it.

Painstaking accuracy, you know. It’s true, it’s called the ‘Sniper’s Nest’. It’s glassed in, it’s got the boxes sitting there. You can’t actually get to the window as such but the reason they did that of course, they didn’t want thousands of American tourists getting there each year going

[Mimes looking out of window]

“There's no fucking way! I can’t even see the road! Oh my god, they’re lying to us!"

 

A lot of Christians wear crosses. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?

It'd be like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. `Just thinking of John, Jackie, just thinking of John.`

 

I was over in Australia during Easter, which was interesting. Interesting to note that they celebrate Easter the same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.

Now, I wonder why we're fucked up as a race, anybody? Anybody got any clues out there? Where do you get this shit from, y'know? Why those two things, y'know? Why not goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer, y'know? As long as we're making shit up, go hogwild, y'know. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on it's back going across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it.

"Mummy, I woke up today and there was a Lincoln Log in my sock drawer!"
"That's the story of Jesus."

Who comes up with this shit? I've read the Bible, I can't find the word `chocolate` or `bunny` anywhere in that fucking book. D'ya all have different books of the Bible than I do? Are y'all Gideons? Who are the fucking Gideons? Ever met one? No! Ever seen one? No! But they're all over the fucking world, putting Bibles in hotel rooms.

Every hotel room; `this Bible was placed here by a Gideon`. When? I've been here all day, I 'aint seen shit. I saw the housekeeper come and go, I saw the mini-bar guy come and go, I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon! What are they, ninjas? Where are they? Where are they from? Gidea? WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE?

I'm gonna capture a Gideon. I'm gonna make that my hobby. I am, I'll call the front desk one day, `Yeah, I don't seem to have a Bible in my room.` Lay some traps.

 

Why am I doing all the heavy lifting in the random thread? :sad:

 

Some random spamarama!


Brings some good memories back!

 

Because you love to spam

 

With great power comes great responsibility!

 

:wink:

Awwww, shucks.

 

Could that count as spamarama thread 2 ?

My post count went down 500% since it was locked.

 

so, another thread?

 

Just with as little of that bastard as possible. He's got his own dedicated thread.

 

June 10 is the 161st day of the year (162nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 204 days remaining until the end of the year.

It's also the anniversary of Ray Charles' death. Rest in peace Ray!

 

Ah, but what's the date on the Julian calendar?

 

cupcakes are wonderful