Inuk's Igloo : The Phun Random Chat Thread!

Whew! It was hot out!

 

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.

"Name's Enoch... Your neighbour from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Damn", Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."

 

An Eminem song.



Verdict : Good stuff.

 

How goes it Coldy?

 

Hi dreamer, were you at the pool?

 

Hej Insom !

 

Dreamer

 

A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but he manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island.

Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship.

He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful, and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!

Days and weeks go by. Cindy and the man are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with him, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. One day she notices he's looking kind of glum.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks. "We have a wonderful life together. I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?"

He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind putting on my shirt?"

"Sure," she says, "If it will help."

He takes off his shirt and she puts it on. "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.

"Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says.

"Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks.

"Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does.

Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?"

She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

 

Tosti FTW

 

Hi Dreamy.

Surely you must have bikini pics of you from this hot day?

 

Hej Dreamer !

 

Yep! Only for a little bit. I had to come in! lol

 

A man's wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman's body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she had seen the woman's eyebrows shudder. Not quite sure, she tried again. This time, she actually did see some movement.

"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some movement!"

The Doctor came in to the room and tried as well. Once more, they both saw movement around the woman's eyes.

"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think we should call her husband and let him know."

Anyway, they called her husband and told him that they had seen some movement. When he arrived, they explained that by touching her pubic hair, they were seeing some sort of reaction in her facial muscles. The Doctor suggested that the husband may like to try something a little more adventurous in order to provoke a stronger reaction. "I suggest that we leave the room and that you try a little oral sex," he said.

The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in the room. Several moments later, all the emergency alarms and buzzers were activated. The Doctor and a host of nurses ran in to the wife's room where they saw the husband zipping up his jeans.

"Oops," he said, "I think I choked her."

 

[youtubevid]5s5GVn03hB8&annotation_id=annotation_633599&feature=iv[/youtubevid]

 

Hiya

LOL Nope, sorry. I don't wear bikinis anyways! lol I don't like being in pictures... especially bathing suits!

Hey! How's it going?

 

I'm fine Sleepy

Welcome back Dreamer

 

Hey dreamy!

 

Damn I don't get a good picture on ZDF.

 

A man visits his doctor.

"I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of
my balls has turned blue."

The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the
patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.

"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let
you do such a thing to me?"

"Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and
the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But
two weeks after the operation, he came back.

"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has
turned blue too."

Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his
other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was
very reluctant. "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc,
and the patient had to agree to the operation.

But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned
to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My
penis is now completely blue."

After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc
gives him the bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has
to go.

Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "You really
want to die?", asked the doctor.

"But... how do I pee?"

"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no
problem."

So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation,
the unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is
very angry.

"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."

"What?"

"Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"

So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"

 

just listening to Eminem's new album and waiting for the opening ceremony of the world championship of football