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Thread Prefixes Do not use Imagebam in GIF Content Threads HACKERS Log-in issues picpie Alerts out of control?

The Sancho And Juicehead666 Random Chat Thread!

Discussion in 'Hall of Fame' started by Sancho, May 11, 2006.

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  1. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    We can't have pop-up blockers enabled here because of intranet apps - that one was easy. Problems is whenever I go to that particular building I get stopped 50 times with people saying "hey, since you're here come look at this" 5 minute task turns into 2 hours.
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13021
  2. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    Lol, do as Roy on The IT Crowd: "Have you tried turning it off and on again" :D
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13022
  3. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    Never seen that show, I should watch it cause I'm sure I'd get a kick out of it. You really would be amazed at how stupid some people can be, absolutely 0 common sense :confused:
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13023
  4. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13024
  5. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    Here is an email I got a while back - these are not jokes, it's recorded calls from an actual help desk.. Some are corny as hell but some are pretty good :)

    Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

    Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

    Customer: Yeah....

    Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

    Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player
    and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

    Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

    =========================================================

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

    Female customer: A white one...

    =========================================================


    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

    Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

    =========================================================


    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

    Customer: Your left or my left?

    =========================================================


    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
    Gates, damn it!

    =========================================================


    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Everytime I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    =========================================================


    Customer: I have problems printing in red...

    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

    =========================================================


    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?


    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

    =========================================================


    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

    Customer: OK

    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

    Customer: Yes

    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

    =========================================================


    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    =========================================================


    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

    Customer: Five stars.

    =========================================================


    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

    Customer: Netscape.

    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    =========================================================


    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
    computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

    =========================================================


    Tech support: How may I help you?

    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    =========================================================


    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
    man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    =========================================================


    And last but not least:....


    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

    Customer: I don't have a P.

    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

    Customer: What do you mean?

    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13025
    Funkyboyroy likes this.
  6. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    Can't watch youtube here, or stream music :(
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13026
  7. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    ROFLMAO!!! You are shitting me right? :lol:
    Fuck !!! :D
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13027
  8. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    I wish I was - I get shit calls like that all the time. It's funny after the fact but not when I have to walk a few blocks to look at something. For example last week, I can't print - I walk over there - no paper in the bin. My pc won't power on, I walk over and they're pushing the power button on the display.

    Dumbfuckers!!:mad:
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13028
  9. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    Ignorance is bliss
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13029
  10. Jetstream

    Jetstream Goodnight Julia

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    So I here. ;)
     
    Jetstream, Oct 30, 2007
    #13030
  11. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    LOL - true, no excuse for pure stupidity though ;)
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13031
  12. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    You can take noob to water, but you can't get a noob to drink...
    or something ;)

    It's a PP quote
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13032
  13. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    PP :confused:
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13033
  14. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    Pure Pwnage, an internet series shot in mockumentary style
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13034
  15. Jetstream

    Jetstream Goodnight Julia

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    I now have a better degree on you Melonabe.
     
    Jetstream, Oct 30, 2007
    #13035
  16. Jetstream

    Jetstream Goodnight Julia

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    How are you both, and whereever Tex may be?
     
    Jetstream, Oct 30, 2007
    #13036
  17. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    Good Jet, how bout yourself?

    Not sure where tex is, must of had some meetings this afternoon. I luckily got out of one that was supposed to last an hour and a half.:D
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13037
  18. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    And by that you mean what?
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13038
  19. bamafan

    bamafan Staring at (.)Y(.) ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

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    So what kind of degree do you have Mel?
     
    bamafan, Oct 30, 2007
    #13039
  20. Melonabe

    Melonabe Guest

    Nothing special right now, I'm still young ;)
     
    Melonabe, Oct 30, 2007
    #13040
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